Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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