I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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