Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
