a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
