I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
