thus making me awesome and them whores
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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