My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Panties = found
Randomize
