I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
