It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
