You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
