We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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