I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
