ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
