she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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