im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
