you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize