And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
