apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
