At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
