Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
