Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
