do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
