you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
