so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
