he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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