I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If I die, sorry about rent.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
