Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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