i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
