I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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