yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
