3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Its about making memories worth repressing
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
