When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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