He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
