Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
