how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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