WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
