love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
