Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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