What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize