i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
