It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
