There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
