He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
