i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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