Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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