My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
