Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
