Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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