i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
