you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
