My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
