we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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