Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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