Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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