Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
