ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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