My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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