went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
