And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
