So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
