He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
