She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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