I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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