oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
