i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
